The history of crime knows many ridiculous attempts of hiding from the law. However, the case of Keith D. Simmonds Jr. can probably top the charts.
In 2010 Simmonds was caught with possession of illegal substances and arrested by the police. He managed to escape from the police car after he found a way to manoeuvre his way out of the handcuffs and kick through one of the car’s windows. While he was on the run, he tried to bite off his own fingerprints, but didn’t succeed. The police found him the next morning with bloodied fingertips and he tried to fight them off.
Simmonds was charged with possession of illegal substances, forcefully resisting an arrest, assaulting a police officer, unlawful possession of stolen property (the handcuffs), providing the police false information, and for tampering with evidence by trying to bite off his fingerprints. On top of all, he had been charged with attempted murder few years back, but received probation.